I just binge watched the first season of Younger, a show about Liza Miller, a 40-year-old woman who passes for 26 in order to get a publishing job. Liza has been out of the workforce, raising her daughter. When she gets dumped by her husband for someone younger, and has to go job hunting, she realizes that the world is not kind to older women. The show sets an amusing–if hyperbolic–tone immediately, when we are forced to watch Liza endure an interview with two 20-something women, who pity her for being so far past her shelf life.
As Liza transforms into a 26-year-old, secures a job, and begins an affair with a younger man, the show examines the disparities between Millennials and Gen Xers, as well as the difficulties with being a woman of any age. Since the show was created by Darren Starr (Sex and the City), it should surprise no one that it typically goes for the easy, obvious laughs, rather than deeper truths. What a missed opportunity, considering how few shows focus on older women.
Still, you can’t help but laugh with Liza, as she realizes she has to forego pubic hair, and learn to use Twitter, to fit in with the 20-something crowd. And there are some genuine moments of reflection, such as when a former colleague judges Liza’s decision to drop out of the workforce. “That’s what nannies are for,” she sneers.
I can’t help but wish that the show spent more time with the older Liza, though, rather than her younger counterpart. I’m not sure everyone gets wiser as they age, but I do think we all get more interesting. At the very least, our concerns and choices become more complex. Watching Liza struggle to keep her young, hot boyfriend is a fun fantasy, but it reveals nothing about the inner woman, who has raised a child and made real sacrifices for those around her.
But the show did spur me to take note of all the reasons I appreciate getting older, and I was surprised by how long that list is. It includes small things, like, when I bump into someone, I don’t automatically assume it’s my fault anymore. Or, instead of contorting into a roly poly, I allow myself to take up reasonable space on CalTrain, even if other people don’t like it. I no longer start sentences with, “This is just my opinion, but …”
There are also profound reasons why aging is awesome. I’m valued more for my thoughts and talents than my physical appearance; better yet, I believe I have thoughts and talents that deserve to be valued. My level of productivity has increased, as my angst has decreased. And I feel a real sense of freedom, because I no longer give a damn what people think about me, or my decisions. Yet, I also care more about other people’s needs than I used to.
It’s tremendous fun when you get older, and realize that lots of social fears are just social myths. Like how men only want one thing. Or that marriage is boring. Or that women are irrelevant once we’re over 30. Conversely, it can be a little painful watching even a fictional woman have to relive the uncertainty of her 20s.
The one thing that I do envy about younger women–but also what inspires me–is that they seem to be coming into their own much more quickly than GenXers did. Hopefully, they won’t wait until they’re 35 or 40 to realize that the world is theirs for the taking. And in that sense, we should all strive to be younger.
Well said, Victoria, as always. I’d add greater self-esteem and self-awareness as I aged. I have an ever developing sense of my interests and talents I didn’t have when 20